A Tale of Two Witticisms

"Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
mademoisellepremed:

lyssalovescookies:

flailmorpho:

wastelandbabe:

lowbutt:

MY SCIENCE TEACHER CAUGHT THE TABLE ON FIRE AND HES JUST STARING AT IT

I LOVE SCIENCE TEACHERS

I’M SORRY BUT HOW BADLY DID HE FUCK UP READING HIS CALIPER?


#my environmental science teacher was demonstrating how pumice can float#so she just went around the room dropping them into people’s water bottles#but one of them didn’t float#so then she lit a match and dropped it into the bottle#and it blew up#that’s how we found out that the kid was drinking alcohol at school x










^^^